Loved this Hannah! I add sloping off to the sea for a swim mid morning to this list of things that sometimes makes me feel guilty yet I love it and trying to erase the guilt
Oh I love an afternoon nap, or an anytime nap! I would add lighting a candle to the list. I have quite the collection, which makes me feel guilty, and then I also feel guilty for lighting them. Double the guilt. But I carry on, defiantly 😆
I'm definitely adding lighting a candle to the list 🪔
I've started doing that when I'm working in my study, especially on a dreary day (like today). I've got a lovely citrus candle on my desk at the moment, as well as some 20 minute mindfulness candles which I sometimes light when I need to take a little time away from whatever I'm working on.
That sounds great, Sonya. I wish I lived near to the beach because I would definitely be adding a walk on the beach to my list (and a swim in warmer months, as Priya mentions!).
I struggled with this. As I was trying to answer your question, I kept thinking of errands and chores to complete 💀 I guess that’s my ‘be productive’ conditioning showing 😅 We are taught that the most important thing is to be a functioning member of society, which translates as only complete tasks that will advance your career and home life. Doing things that don’t yield a certain set of results is unacceptable. Like self-care or simply doing anything lovely for ourselves.
I had a daytime nap for the first time as an adult a few weeks ago and it was glorious! So I would add that to the list 😴🫶🏽
It sounds like you are starting to give yourself permission to do these things, Tacita. In my mind, it's all about balance and knowing what you need at any given time. Sometimes a nap is genuinely the best thing. It can help to rejuvenate and make you more creative (I'm not going to say the p-word!). Here's to banishing those guilty thoughts and looking after ourselves.
Love this Hannah, I have been known to have an afternoon bath and watch a cheesy film, not at the same time! It’s definitely something that gets instilled into you when you’re employed versus unemployed. I still sometimes catch myself ‘doing’ something in case someone is watching. Here’s to guilt free self-care any time of the day.
Yes, a cheesy film should definitely be added to the list! All of these things help us to be more focused when we are working, but it's good when we can recognise the signs of needing to take some time for self-care ourselves and do it at a time that suits us rather than society!
I love this - and I agree - it feels so decadent to take a bath in the afternoon but why??!! Also taking a nap, reading a book, anything that really isn't in our indoctrinated definition of 'productive'. Actually these things are the most productive, restoring our soul, enabling us to be the best we can be for when we are needed elsewhere. On that note - I'm going up to London tonight but I'm going to take an earlier train just to give myself time to wander, have a cuppa, smell the air and just be. That's what we need more of x
Oh it’s been wonderful. Yes those guilt whispers can be loud, but that’s something I love about getting older - I have started to realise we deserve those moments without guilt, and that’s more liberating than I can say 💕
You're absolutely right Hannah, about the societal pressure to be endlessly productive, and how we often forget that relaxation and self-care are equally important. We've been conditioned to think that weekdays are solely for work and productivity, but that's a limited perspective. Your bath time, for example, is not just good time management but also an act of self-care and rejuvenation.
I love a daytime bath (but only if the bathroom has windows), but alas we’ve been a shower-only household for quite a while. And an afternoon shower just doesn’t hit the same.
A long lunch with a wine or a trip to a cafe to just drink coffee and maybe read (not to work) are up there for me. I’ve also gotten into playing on my Nintendo Switch in the day sometimes, which I do feel a little odd about as a 30-something woman, but the it is fun!
We have a switch too and I got very into playing Animal Crossing a while back. I totally get what you mean about it feeling a little odd as a 30 something women, but it really shouldn’t, should it? I wonder why we’ve been conditioned to feel that?
I just had a long lunch with my brother which was really lovely as we hadn’t seen each other for a little while. No wine, but we had a beer!
I love a midweek daytime sauna, Hannah! I do my best creative thinking there, or out for a walk. Total tune-out. No phone and a chance to have a shower afterwards. Again, strategic!
Ah Lindsay, that sounds wonderful! If I had one nearby I would try that strategy out too. I love a good sauna followed by a cold shower ♨️❄️ and can see how that would give good creative stimulus.
Oh yes, always a cold shower afterwards. We have a cold tub in the garden made out of an old whisky barrel, and it's both painful and delightful in the winter, especially! Now all I need is an at-home sauna to compliment it...
I always take a nap three times a week because I wake up at 5.30 am and If I don't, I get a headacke and can't keep on doing anything in the afternoon. When I tell people this, they all seem amazed because they think It's a waste of time. For me, It's the best way to spend my time and take care of me.
That sounds like a very sensible thing to do, and it's obviously something you need in your routine. It's a little sad that as a society we have such fixed ways of doing things, but hopefully by us writing about this we are gradually helping others to realise that we should all do what is right for us as individuals, and not worry about copying others!
Thank you so much for reading and commenting 😊 (your English is very good, no need at all to apologise!)
Yes, there’s always a whisper of guilt when I do something for myself, something out of the “ordinary”! And I do love my bubble baths. So relaxing and rejuvenating. 💕
LOVE that our conversation sparked this! And I can so relate... my guilty pleasure is reading on the couch in the middle of the day just because it soothes my soul. I know I should be working/cleaning/cooking/doing laundry/enter any life admin task here, but it feels so good just to read. Thanks for sharing ✨
It really did inspire this piece, so thank you for asking me!
It’s good that you read in the middle of the day. Sometimes I put a timer on when I’m doing something like that so that I feel like I’ve given myself permission for 20 mins or however much time I’ve allocated. In an ideal world I wouldn’t need to feel I have permission, I guess.
Hahaha I'm laughing because I am actually reading this while in the bath. It's 4pm here. I love mid day baths and feel they are such a great way to break up the day.
I followed your lead yesterday, Janelle and read a book in the bath. The phone was in another room and it felt good to be immersed in reading. Thanks for sowing this seed!
Replying to these lovely comments and thinking about bathing is tempting me to go and have a soak now! It seems many of us feel the same, which is very encouraging ✨
Loved this Hannah! I add sloping off to the sea for a swim mid morning to this list of things that sometimes makes me feel guilty yet I love it and trying to erase the guilt
I would add that to my list too if I lived by the sea. Here's to erasing the guilt 💪
Oh I love an afternoon nap, or an anytime nap! I would add lighting a candle to the list. I have quite the collection, which makes me feel guilty, and then I also feel guilty for lighting them. Double the guilt. But I carry on, defiantly 😆
I'm definitely adding lighting a candle to the list 🪔
I've started doing that when I'm working in my study, especially on a dreary day (like today). I've got a lovely citrus candle on my desk at the moment, as well as some 20 minute mindfulness candles which I sometimes light when I need to take a little time away from whatever I'm working on.
Yes to this! I tend to be more of a Sunday afternoon bath person, especially this time of the year (showers always in the summer).
Mid afternoon getaways to the beach with the dogs rounded off with a pint maybe is a little guilty pleasure for me.
That sounds great, Sonya. I wish I lived near to the beach because I would definitely be adding a walk on the beach to my list (and a swim in warmer months, as Priya mentions!).
I struggled with this. As I was trying to answer your question, I kept thinking of errands and chores to complete 💀 I guess that’s my ‘be productive’ conditioning showing 😅 We are taught that the most important thing is to be a functioning member of society, which translates as only complete tasks that will advance your career and home life. Doing things that don’t yield a certain set of results is unacceptable. Like self-care or simply doing anything lovely for ourselves.
I had a daytime nap for the first time as an adult a few weeks ago and it was glorious! So I would add that to the list 😴🫶🏽
It sounds like you are starting to give yourself permission to do these things, Tacita. In my mind, it's all about balance and knowing what you need at any given time. Sometimes a nap is genuinely the best thing. It can help to rejuvenate and make you more creative (I'm not going to say the p-word!). Here's to banishing those guilty thoughts and looking after ourselves.
Love this Hannah, I have been known to have an afternoon bath and watch a cheesy film, not at the same time! It’s definitely something that gets instilled into you when you’re employed versus unemployed. I still sometimes catch myself ‘doing’ something in case someone is watching. Here’s to guilt free self-care any time of the day.
Yes, a cheesy film should definitely be added to the list! All of these things help us to be more focused when we are working, but it's good when we can recognise the signs of needing to take some time for self-care ourselves and do it at a time that suits us rather than society!
I love this - and I agree - it feels so decadent to take a bath in the afternoon but why??!! Also taking a nap, reading a book, anything that really isn't in our indoctrinated definition of 'productive'. Actually these things are the most productive, restoring our soul, enabling us to be the best we can be for when we are needed elsewhere. On that note - I'm going up to London tonight but I'm going to take an earlier train just to give myself time to wander, have a cuppa, smell the air and just be. That's what we need more of x
That sounds like an excellent plan, Emma. I'm getting better at just 'being' but it still takes work to stop the whisper of guilt.
I hope taking that time for yourself tonight gives you a fresh perspective and renewed energy for your evening ✨
Oh it’s been wonderful. Yes those guilt whispers can be loud, but that’s something I love about getting older - I have started to realise we deserve those moments without guilt, and that’s more liberating than I can say 💕
I couldn't agree more!
You're absolutely right Hannah, about the societal pressure to be endlessly productive, and how we often forget that relaxation and self-care are equally important. We've been conditioned to think that weekdays are solely for work and productivity, but that's a limited perspective. Your bath time, for example, is not just good time management but also an act of self-care and rejuvenation.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Winston. I’m trying hard to rewire my thinking on this but it isn’t easy due to our conditioning!
I love a daytime bath (but only if the bathroom has windows), but alas we’ve been a shower-only household for quite a while. And an afternoon shower just doesn’t hit the same.
A long lunch with a wine or a trip to a cafe to just drink coffee and maybe read (not to work) are up there for me. I’ve also gotten into playing on my Nintendo Switch in the day sometimes, which I do feel a little odd about as a 30-something woman, but the it is fun!
We have a switch too and I got very into playing Animal Crossing a while back. I totally get what you mean about it feeling a little odd as a 30 something women, but it really shouldn’t, should it? I wonder why we’ve been conditioned to feel that?
I just had a long lunch with my brother which was really lovely as we hadn’t seen each other for a little while. No wine, but we had a beer!
I love a midweek daytime sauna, Hannah! I do my best creative thinking there, or out for a walk. Total tune-out. No phone and a chance to have a shower afterwards. Again, strategic!
Ah Lindsay, that sounds wonderful! If I had one nearby I would try that strategy out too. I love a good sauna followed by a cold shower ♨️❄️ and can see how that would give good creative stimulus.
Oh yes, always a cold shower afterwards. We have a cold tub in the garden made out of an old whisky barrel, and it's both painful and delightful in the winter, especially! Now all I need is an at-home sauna to compliment it...
That sounds like a great DIY project!!
I apogize for my English in advance ☺️
I always take a nap three times a week because I wake up at 5.30 am and If I don't, I get a headacke and can't keep on doing anything in the afternoon. When I tell people this, they all seem amazed because they think It's a waste of time. For me, It's the best way to spend my time and take care of me.
Hello Maria!
That sounds like a very sensible thing to do, and it's obviously something you need in your routine. It's a little sad that as a society we have such fixed ways of doing things, but hopefully by us writing about this we are gradually helping others to realise that we should all do what is right for us as individuals, and not worry about copying others!
Thank you so much for reading and commenting 😊 (your English is very good, no need at all to apologise!)
Love this Hannah! It's definitely decadent but that's what makes it so fabulous!
Yes, there’s always a whisper of guilt when I do something for myself, something out of the “ordinary”! And I do love my bubble baths. So relaxing and rejuvenating. 💕
I agree Susi! 🛁
Let’s try to work towards eradicating that whisper of guilt because there’s no reason for it to be there.
LOVE that our conversation sparked this! And I can so relate... my guilty pleasure is reading on the couch in the middle of the day just because it soothes my soul. I know I should be working/cleaning/cooking/doing laundry/enter any life admin task here, but it feels so good just to read. Thanks for sharing ✨
It really did inspire this piece, so thank you for asking me!
It’s good that you read in the middle of the day. Sometimes I put a timer on when I’m doing something like that so that I feel like I’ve given myself permission for 20 mins or however much time I’ve allocated. In an ideal world I wouldn’t need to feel I have permission, I guess.
I also wonder if men ever feel this same guilt?! 🤔
Hahaha I'm laughing because I am actually reading this while in the bath. It's 4pm here. I love mid day baths and feel they are such a great way to break up the day.
Yes Reid! A timely post and the perfect place to read from 🛀 📖 ✨
Same!
Coming from the gal who had a lunchtime soak today. So needed. (And not just cos I was smelly)
Only difference is I rarely take my phone in.
I like to try and keep my baths screen free.
Books can come in though 😊
I followed your lead yesterday, Janelle and read a book in the bath. The phone was in another room and it felt good to be immersed in reading. Thanks for sowing this seed!
The dream!
That's very sensible and I should try that. Not least because it's only a matter of time before my iPhone is in the water.
Happy to hear that you had a lunchtime soak! 🛁
I am 100 percent a bath girl anytime and any day of the week!
Replying to these lovely comments and thinking about bathing is tempting me to go and have a soak now! It seems many of us feel the same, which is very encouraging ✨