An introvert's superpower

And how to use it

After a few days of family gatherings, I’m ready to head home and recharge.

I’ve loved spending time with our families; exchanging gifts and eating delicious home-cooked food. But, as an introvert, I understand that the feeling I have of wanting to get home and curl up on the sofa with one of the books I received for Christmas is absolutely normal and needs to be listened to.

Even when I think back to being at university, I was happiest when spending time with one or two friends rather than with a large group. I would go out with a crowd occasionally but it would take a lot of talking myself into it, and sometimes I would talk myself out of it and stay home watching dvds and cooking myself something nice for dinner. I learned how to make a roux-based cheese sauce from scratch at university and it was my comfort food go to with a bowl of pasta. My housemates thought I was a little strange, but were happy to eat it too.

Reflecting back on this time 20 years ago, I realise that I still feel the same way about socialising now. Dinner with one friend is my ideal evening. The intimacy of just two people allows for a deeper conversation, full attention and little or no space for small talk. The older I get, the more I can’t stand small talk.

I’ve written before about craving a portion of alone time in my week. I need space to think and I can’t do that properly with others around. This alone time is the equivalent of me recharging my batteries, I think. It allows me to then have the energy to enjoy social situations. The alone time takes various forms. Here are some of them:

• Going for a walk. Often I will listen to an audiobook at the same time but sometimes I want my own thoughts only.

• Taking a bath. I regularly read in the bath and try to avoid looking at my phone. Reading makes the experience more relaxing.

• Getting up early, before my husband, and writing something. Usually my journal/morning pages, but sometimes a Substack post. Always with a cup of tea: Yorkshire tea, strong with a good slug of semi-skimmed milk

• Gardening: weeding, tidying or just for losing myself in a task for a while. Sometimes whilst listening to an audiobook.

• Visiting a gallery or an exhibition on my own.

I’ve got a few days of calm now before our friends arrive on Sunday for New Year celebrations. There’s a fair bit of cleaning and cooking to do in preparation, but there will be plenty of opportunity for quiet time too.

One thing I’m excited for is the opportunity to spend some time looking through my lovely presents to take full notice of what I’ve received.

It’s difficult to pick a favourite present, but when I opened the box to see the beautiful earrings in the photo above, it took me a moment to remember why they were familiar. They were a gift from my parents and on a swelteringly hot, late-August day we had been at a village fete with them in the beautiful town of Market Bosworth. I was walking with my dad and as we went past the stall selling jewellery, I made a passing comment about this pair and how much I loved them.

I thought nothing more of this, until I opened the little box on Christmas Day containing that very pair. It turned out that somehow my dad had managed to tell my mum and then she’d slipped back into the marquee to buy them. I hadn’t noticed a thing.

Of course, I’ve had a several books which I am desperate to dive into.

I will cherish these next few days of quiet and calm, and then I will look forward to hosting lovely friends. It’s a balancing act, but being aware that this is what I need helps me to prepare and navigate, and be the best version of myself. It’s taken me years to understand this, but now that I do I feel like it’s a sort of super power. The quiet, alone time is when I feel most creative and at one with my ideas, but afterwards I’m ready to emerge and share that energy with others around me.

I hope you are able to recharge and reset over the next few days, ready for whatever January brings for you!

Hannah x

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